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You are now entering the realm of semi-intelligent thoughts. Keep your mind open and your mouth shut!

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Question 

If you see a couple hundred crows in the trees outside your dorm, and the first thing that pops into your head is, "Man, I really wish I had a shotgun right now," is that a bad sign?

...

Sorry. I promise the next post will be a real one.

Game Over 

West Virginia: 34
Syracuse: 23

We suck.

I'll post again after 5.

Gameday 

Saturday=Syracuse football game at noon=marching band practice at 7:30 in the morning=I won't be able to blog until after 4 PM and will probably be in a really crappy mood by then. Just thought you might want to know.

When I do get around to posting (probably early in the evening), I'll have some more philosophy stuff with an interesting background story.

I have to get up at 6:45, so I should probably go to sleep now.

Go SU!

Friday, November 21, 2003

Brain Disorder Rant (This post is very very very very long. You have been warned) 

You know how your brain will sometimes stop working right, and you sit at the computer and stare at things for about 4 hours, and then you just play random drum cadences on your leg for a few minutes, then check your email a few dozen times...actually, you probably don't know what that's like. I think I've mentioned once before on SIT that I have ADD (abbreviations, anyone?), and that may have had something to do with it. It's a great disorder, let me tell you. I'm actually going to write something about it here, and then I've got something else that I've been meaning to post all day.

Some of you may have read Mrs. Du Toit's essay about special education and disciplinary methods and things, and the topic of medication and behavioral disorders came up. Of course, there was disagreement over whether or not things like Ritalin are necessary, and some people think it's wrong to "put kids on drugs," and that type of thing. I don't know why I haven't blogged about this before, but as an ADD sufferer, I want to clear up a few things about the disorder. Therefore, I'm going to write an "ADD rant" off the top of my head and see what happens. If you don't want to read it, fine, but the aforementioned essay and a discussion about medications that came up in my sociology class today have inspired me to finally write about this subject. This may end up being longer than I originally intended, and I'll probably end up telling you way too much, but it has to be done.

Let me say it once more if you missed it: I have ADD. Attention Deficit Disorder. Also known to some narrow-minded people as "hyperactivity." It's generally pigeonholed into this category. The stereotypical ADD sufferer is some kid whose parents feed him too much sugar and don't teach him to sit down and shut up, and that's that. Let me tell you right now: that stereotype is UTTER BULLCRAP. If ADD were that simple, we could be rid of it, but that's not all it is. Another stereotype is that only children have ADD, and they grow out of it by the time they reach adulthood. Again, BULLCRAP. It only seems like they grow out of it because they learn to control the more visible symptoms, but they still have the disorder. It's a brain malfunction. It's not psychosomatic or socially influenced, and it doesn't simply go away at a certain age. It's a condition that lasts a lifetime, but a lot of the better known symptoms simply become less noticeable as people learn to control themselves and enter the "adult" world. However, ADD isn't simply a lack of self control or an overexpressive personality. Because I've lived with this condition for almost 19 years now, I'm going to tell you what ADD really is. Pay close attention (if I can do it, so can you).

First of all, the stereotype is true to a point. ADD does tend to make you hyperactive. However, it's not as simple as that. I've heard all the normal arguments. "They don't have a problem, they just don't want to listen to authority." "Their parents aren't bringing them up properly." "They're just trying to get attention." "Kids are energetic. You can't expect them to sit still for a long time." Here are some fun facts: I often do want to listen to authority, but I can't remember what they said. My parents did the best job any parents could conceivably do, so that can't be it. If I was trying to get attention, I wouldn't get it by fidgeting and daydreaming. Of course, they usually use the last excuse to write off ADD. It's true that normal kids are going to have a certain amount of energy, but realistically, you should expect them to sit still for a while. However, people with ADD are slightly different. There's a loss of control and a lot of involuntary factors that go far beyond youthful exuberance.

Most people don't know this, but ADD shares several characteristics with the more serious abbreviated behavioral disorder, OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm not a neurology expert, but from what I understand, the disorders are caused by problems in brain wiring. The signals don't go where they're supposed to. For example, in normal people, an impulse goes from one part of the brain to the appropriate receptor. Unfortunately, in people with these disorders, the impulses and signals can't follow the right connections. When a person with ADD can't pay attention, it's because a signal tried to follow a path that leads to a dead end. If someone has to perform a repetitive action, it's because the signal took a u-turn and bounced right back to where it started. Again, ADD has a lot more in common with OCD than you might think. ADD is just a slightly less serious version. However, in both cases, the associated problems are caused by signals not connecting properly. This means that when a child with the disorder can't sit still, it's because the impulse to not move somehow followed the path of an impulse to move, and it became that impulse (this is commonly known as a "tic," or random fidgeting-type motion). I can tell you from personal experience that resisting tics leads to EXTREME discomfort. I personally get a bizarre feeling of panic, I can't focus on anything other than controlling the impulse, and I often get a headache when I try especially hard to control it. Usually, all I have to do in order to relieve this tension is start tapping my foot or grinding my teeth or some other activity. For example, I'm tapping my left foot against the wall as I write this. If I stop, I'll have to move something else or I'll feel like I'm suffocating. I've had several other tics over the years. For a few months in elementary school, I had to open my mouth every ten seconds and make a yawning expression. I currently deal with fun tics like rapid, uncontrollable blinking (usually triggered by an uncomfortable social situation) and moving my eyes to the extreme left or right at random (a habit I picked up in 2nd grade and still have not totally overcome).

That's why kids with the disorder can't sit still. They may want to, but they can't handle the tension that results from resisting the impulse. ADD is a lot like being addicted to tics. You want to stop, but when you try, the result is worse than the tics themselves. When I have one of my hyperblinking attacks, I usually get a throbbing headache, but when I try to stop blinking, my eyes water and I usually get a headache anyway. You can't honestly say that kids with this condition are just doing it to get attention. I'll tell you right now, we don't like doing these things, but they're incredibly hard to control, and I doubt elementary-age kids can handle the willpower it would take to stop.

The disorder also causes impulsiveness, which is related to what I just talked about. Occasionally, the signal to do something will reach its receptor before the corresponding signal to actually THINK about the action. This leads to embarrassing verbal slips and other fun antisocial behaviors. A good example would be when I posted a message on SIT that said "F**K TED F***ING RALL" in huge bold letters. I should've thought about that a bit longer, but I didn't, so I had to delete it later after people had seen it. The impulsiveness, again, is what makes children with the disorder seem so unruly. They don't have time to think about their actions until after they've done something stupid, and they're usually labelled as troublemakers and punished as if they meant every bit of what they did (although not everyone is simply a "victim"). The main point I'm trying to make here is that ADD causes things that are beyond a child's control. I'm 18, and still learning to deal with the tics and impulsive behavior. I had to see a psychologist for a few months to learn how to talk to people without blurting out whatever's on my mind at the moment.

Speaking of things like that, did you know that ADD also impairs your social skills? Not many people know that. Most people's understanding of the disorder only goes as far as the things I've explained already, but I'm going to fill in the rest of the details and tell you, from personal experience, all the other fun things you get to deal with when you have ADD. Like I said, it impairs your social skills. I'm not sure why it does this, but it's a common factor in a lot of cases, so it must just affect the part of the brain that controls socialization. The impulsive verbal stuff makes it hard enough to talk to people, but for some reason, it's hard just to have a simple conversation anyway. Eye contact is difficult, for one thing, and I still get watery eyes when I'm around a lot of people (when I'm not blinking, at least). Also, the tension associated with ADD causes mental panic, and it's impossible to come up with anything to talk about or form intelligent responses. I tend to stutter a lot when I talk to people despite the fact that I have no actual speech impediments. I just have to concentrate so much on not saying something idiotic that I can't pay attention to what my mouth is doing. This, coupled with the fact that ADD causes me to talk really really fast when I'm nervous, has made it hard to have normal conversations. Also, I was literally afraid of people for a while, but I'm getting over that now. Overall, ADD also makes it hard to pick up on social cues, like body language and voice inflection. You just don't notice subtleties like that. It may not surprise you, therefore, to know that I have few close friends and have never had a girlfriend. I just don't know how one goes about getting them.

Amazingly, that's still not the end. Getting back to tics and things, did you know that ADD also causes MENTAL tics? I don't know how many others have this problem, but I get things stuck in my head all the time. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? Probably. Have you ever had it stuck in your head for 3 months? I don't know, but I have. Here's the real fun part: I get actual words and sentences stuck in my head. A lot of times, they're random quotes from TV shows or things I've heard people say, and sometimes they're just things my mind invents, but I have a constant string of disconnected English running through my head 24/7. It's the first thing I hear when I wake up (besides my alarm), and the last thing I hear before I fall asleep. Sometimes, it's even in my dreams. The worst part is that I often have to concentrate on the words and arrange them into logical sentences. This can be very distracting and has led to some rather awkward moments which I won't go into here. There's also the constant fear of accidentally saying one of the phrases, although I occasionally develop a mental block where I'm physically unable to say the things in my head. Speaking of which, do you know why I don't use profanity? It's because I can't. I have somehow made it physically impossible to swear. I'm not joking. In high school, people would try for extended periods of time to get me to swear ("Come on! Just say f**k one time!"), and they usually got a laugh out of my refusal to do so, but I couldn't have complied even if I wanted to. It's physically impossible.

I already mentioned that ADD and OCD are related, but it may surprise you to know that ADD even shares some of the characteristics of that, at least in my case. I don't randomly count things, as the OCD stereotype does, but when I count something, I usually have to do it several times. Also, when I take a test, I usually check at least 3 times to make sure all the answers are filled in. I also have a bit of the classic fear of being "dirty," although it's not very serious. I don't have to wash my hands every time I touch something, but occasionally I do HAVE to wash them. It's very strange. There are other instances of this as well, but most people don't even know they exist.

Here's one more aspect of the disorder for you: complete lack of organizational and time managing skills. For some reason, ADD makes organization impossible. I have a hard time throwing things away, hanging clothes up, keeping notebooks organized, making my bed, and keeping track of various supplies. Doing work is also fun, because it's impossible to organize things. I usually write assignments off the top of my head at the last minute (like I'm doing now) because I can't think ahead. This is related to procrastination, another great effect of ADD. I know most people deal with this, but there is actually a physiological aspect of it with the disorder. I can't accurately describe it, but the brain pretty much shuts down and doesn't let you think if there's any time at all to do something else. This is another aspect of the "attention deficit" part of the disorder. This invariably leads to "hyperfocusing," where you concentrate so hard on one thing that you totally lose track of time. I usually end up hyperfocusing on the task at hand at some point, but this is only after days and days of putting it off. Headaches can result from this as well.

I could talk about more, but I've used way too much space already, and I have work to do that I've been putting off by writing this essay (see above paragraph), so I think I need to wrap it up. Before I stop, I want to give my take on medication. I take it. I take Concerta in the morning, which is basically 12 hour Ritalin, and then I take short-term generic stuff at night if I still need it. It. Really. Does. Work. It doesn't help with everything, as some people think, but it works. It's not a magical "no more ADD" pill, since it basically just increases your ability to focus, but it makes a difference. I actually remember my mom's description of the first time I took Ritalin as a kid. She said that I was sitting there saying, "I can think now! I can think now!" Probably because I could. You do not know how much of a difference the medicine makes if you haven't personally experienced it. The problem is that doctors and teachers are so quick to prescribe it to kids who don't show all the signs of ADD, and many of them don't need it. However, when you have the disorder, you need it. I disagree with people who say that you're "drugging children" and it should be a "last resort." Once again, BULL. Until they can physically repair the brain impairments that cause this condition, medication is all we've got.

People are afraid because they're "drugs," but they're also "medicines." There's a difference between Ritalin and crack, if you didn't know that already. Also, people who say that the brain can't tell the difference between those two forget that Ritalin only has stimulant effects in people with normal brains. In people with ADD, Ritalin stimulates the part of the brain that the disorder shuts down. It's more of an equalizer than anything else. Also, it won't turn you into a zombie. It makes you feel different, but you're still who you are, and as you get older, it has less of an effect. I actually plan to stop taking pills for my ADD when I get out of college, but until then, I don't trust myself to pay attention and get work done, so I'm going to take the necessary precautions. I'll say it once again: if we can't give medication to people with mental disabilities, we've got no business giving wheelchairs to people with physical disabilities. Use the right tool for the right job in the right situation (sorry, I've been studying Aristotle), and you can solve the problem.

So, that's my ADD rant. I think it's the longest thing I've written so far, but I've been meaning to do something like this for a long time. There's a ton of information I left out, and I may come back to it another time, but that's the stuff you really need to know. ADD is not a figment of society's imagination, it's not the result of bad parenting, and it sometimes needs to be treated with pills. The key is figuring out who actually has it and who really is a bad kid. If you've read all the way through this, I really appreciate it. I usually don't reveal the fact that I have ADD (although I told a couple people in my dorm that I have "an organizational disorder" so they would stop bugging me to clean my room), but I had to speak from personal experience to adequately make my case. I think I may hold off on my other planned post for today. It's also kinda long. Thanks again for reading, and use your knowledge wisely.

Useless Advice for Today 

Come to Syracuse University if you want to see huge flocks of crows without having to leave your dorm room. Friggin' things are everywhere.

(I'll have something interesting posted in the next couple hours)

Scam Exposure 

I have a few things to blog about today, but I want to start off by posting the text of two more "Nigerian scam" type emails I've received this week. I could just delete them, but it's much more fun to publish them on the web so everyone can see what these idiots are trying to pull. Here they are:
DEAR FRIEND,

URGENTLY AND EXTREMELY CONFIDENTIAL.
I am an Accountant and the chairman of the tender
committee which awards contract in the department of
the petroleum Resources of Nigeria . I sent you a
letter by post office sometime ago informing you of
our plan to transfer the sum of US$20.5million (Twenty
�million, Five hundred thousand US Dollars only) to
your account. I have been waiting to hear from you,but
up till now, nothing has been heard from you hence
this particular message.
In any case, I guess that you may not have received
the letter after all due to the shortcomings of our
postal system. I want you to know that this fund
originated from an Over-invoiced contract sum which
was awarded to a foreign firm in 1999. I and my three
(3)other colleagues in the tender Board purposely
inflated the actual cost of the contract to the tune
of US$20.5 Million.
However, the original contractor has fully executed
the contract, the project commissioned and the
contractor paid his actual contract worth, leaving
behind the over-invoiced sum. So, it is based on this
that we now want you / your company to come forward to
claim this sum on our behalf. We are Civil Servants,
and we are not allowed to operate foreign account
while still in office, so you are therefore to act as
one who had executed a contract worth the sum of
US$20.5million for my Department and you now want your
payment. This deal is 100% risk.We are perfectly in charged and had worked out
modalities that would guarantee a perfect
�transfer of this fund to your account. We have also
mapped out 30% of the total sum for you for your help
and assistance while the remaining is for me and my
colleagues.
If you are interested in the proposal, and you are a
trustworthy person who would not sit on this money� if
it is transferred to your account, kindly indicate by
contacting me through my private telephone or via my
E-mail.
This deal must be kept absolutely confidential till we
succeed. Thank you as we look forward to your
anticipated co-operation.
NOTE=After a successful transfer, 30% for you, 60% for
us, 10% mapped out to settle expenses incurred by both
parties in the process of transfer.We will also visit
you immedaitely we conclude this transaction to
collect and invest our shares of the total sum into
any viable business you may advise us in your country.
Contact me urgently through my Telephone
or my E-mail address.234-8023353203,Best regards,
Abu Galadima
Nb:Reply Using ABUGALADIMA@TISCALI.CO.UK

And now, the second one:

Naturally, this letter will come to you as a surprise since we have not
met permit me to introduce myself. I am kolawole Abiola, the first son
of the late M.K.O. Abiola, the acclaimed winner of the annulled
presidential election of June 12th 1993 of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Before my Fathers death, he willed all his assets and wealth in my name
(as the first son) because my family is a polygamous one, my father has
many wives.
My father transferred a lot of money in United States dollars
domination abroad. And also his assets worth billions of dollars abroad. Presently, (US$81million) eighty-one million united states dollars
only, is� in a security company in europe and asia countries
that�s why I am soliciting for your urgent assistance to safely transfer
this money in to your account on your behalf and myself.
For your assistance, 30% of the total sum will be given to you, 10% to
offset local or foreign expenses that may be incurred in the course� of
this remittance.
I shall be meeting with you, if you accept to assist me.remember all
modalities have been worked out to ensure a clean remittance of this fund
into your account hitch free. Your expertise has been taken into
consideration and quite believe that you will protect my interest by taking
this deal strictly confidential.it will taken fourteen(i4) working days to
actualize this project, without delay.
I will appreciate your quick response through�
my email address is�kolaabiola@123.com
�� I am open to further question you may wish to ask in respect of this business transaction.
Our dreams will surely come true.
Regards
Yours faithfully,
Kolawole Abiola

Do not be fooled by these arsehats.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

More Word Games 

Just a real quick post. I used this on the new blog (which I'm not publicizing yet), and I think it would be good here. I'm trying to monopolize as many words/phrases as possible, as you may have noticed. If Frnak can make "muckadoo" his word, I can come up with a few of my own. I've already got:
-What wouldn't Dubya do?
-Puppy pureeing hobo hunter
-Donktionary
...and probably a couple others. For the new one, I propose a new definition of NPR. Of course, it supposedly stands for "National Public Radio," but that's boring. Here's my idea:

NOISE POLLUTION REPOSITORY

It's not the catchiest term in the world, but it's not on Google, so now it's mine. HA!

I'm very bored today.

Another Entry in the Donktionary 

I think that's a much better name that "Democratic Dictionary." Anyway, I came up with some more liberal definitions for various words. It was harder to think of words this time around, but I think this will do for now. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
THE DONKTIONARY!

Anti-American: Agreeing with President Bush.
Baghdad: Quagmire central.
Chad: Small piece of paper used by Republicans to rig an election.
Diversity: Killing whitey Combining people of many races and ethnicities.
Europe: Model for the ideal society; Continent populated by intellectuals, innovators, and people who are generally better than Americans.
Fox News: Republican propaganda agency.
Governor: The highest elected office ever held by George W. Bush.
Homophobia: Offending homosexuals in any way, even if it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.
Islam: A religion of peace, tolerance, love, respect, tradition, and other non-violent things.
John Ashcroft: See Heinrich Himmler.
Kim Jong Il: World leader who will probably be the next victim of The Shrub's terrorist plot.
Liberalism: Killing whitey Standing up for underrepresented groups, murdering children protecting women's right to choose, persecuting Christians defending religious freedom, and taking your hard-earned money away from you balancing the federal budget with reasonable tax policies.
Multiculturalism: Making sure that at least 10% of the people you meet in an average day can't speak more than a dozen words of English.
NPR: Underground resistance fighters speaking out against the neo-fascists. Don't tell them where the radio station is!
Orwellian: The type of society we have thanks to the PATRIOT Act.
Peace: Avoiding conflict at all costs, even if it results in our annihilation.
Quota: Buzzword conservatives use to make diversity sound like a bad thing.
Racism: Disagreeing with affirmative action and welfare, and/or belonging to the Republican Party.
Second Amendment: See murder.
Tolerance: Agreeing with everyone all the time (unless they're conservative).
Uncle Tom: Black Republican.
Vietnam: Adjective used to describe a soldier's death (there may have been a war with a similar name at some point).
Whitewater: (place hands over both ears) I'M NOT LISTENING! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!

Just so you know, I don't believe for a second that all Democrats think this way. Unfortunately, the ones who do think this way are usually the ones talking. Remember, reader submissions are encouraged (especially since I'm almost out of ideas), including alternate definitions for words that have been used already. Donktionary power!

Incidentally, if you're still reading, you may be interested to know that I've been actively following politics for less than a year now. I didn't even know the difference between Democrats and Republicans until after the 2000 election, and I don't think I knew the difference between "right" and "left" until sometime in early 2002.

*The More You Know!*

UPDATE
I just completed the Republican half of this list for Political Translation. Here's a sample:
Tolerance: Successfully resisting the urge to kick liberals in the head.

For some reason, I'm obsessed with kicks to the head this week. Must be all the protests.

I Can't Believe I Haven't Posted One of these Yet 

You're the W!
You are George Walker Bush! You are the most
powerful man in the world, which leaves you
little time to think for yourself. Fortunately,
you have your friends to think for you!


Which member of the Bush Administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay...I don't know if that's totally accurate. I don't have friends that think for me (if I did, they probably wouldn't have let me waste your time with this post), but...I guess I could live with being the most powerful man in the world.

So...

Do you fear my power yet?

Do you?

Are you still reading?

Hey! Get back here!

Traitor!

You'll be back!

You always come back!

Rumsfeld! Ashcroft! Don't just stand there!

Crush the dissenting traitor!

You're pathetic.

...

...

...

...

I think I'm gonna go take a nap now.

This is Just Hilarious 

A Democratic Underground poster (yes, I'm still reading DU. Don't give me that look! You know which look I'm talking about!) has this to say about Free Republic:

"By the way, you can sign up there and have fun from time to time
if you wish. They don't seem nearly as adept at identifying members of the opposition as we do."


In other words, they allow people to disagree with them (a fact I've verified by reading their boards, although I'm not a huge fan). The DU, on the other hand, has this to say:

"If you think overall that George W. Bush is doing a swell job, or if you wish to see Republicans win, or if you are generally supportive of conservative ideals, please do not register to post, as you will likely be banned.

And these are the people who say they're being censored?

Syra-news 

Okay, I don't have anything particularly political to blog about right now, but I have to write about the top story in today's Daily Orange. There is an editorial talking about the filibusters and explaining why the Democrats did the right thing against extremist judges who want to take away our freedoms and blah blah blah...and there's also an article about gay Catholics (nice oxymoron), but those pale in comparison to the front page story. Why, you ask?

"The Hey Song" has been banned at Syracuse football games. That's big news. The song is one of the most important parts of the game to fans. They all wave their arms back and forth in unison and sing along. Sounds great, right? What could be the problem with that?

Well, apparently, they don't like the way students sing it. Since I'm a bass drummer, I just help provide the rhythm for the song, so I don't personally participate in this, but the fans and many band members have a chant they do during certain parts of the song. For example, in the chorus, after they say "HEY!" they add the phrase "YOU SUCK!" However, that's not even the part that the administration is worried about.

You see, after the chorus, there's a section of nothing but drums, and the fans do the main chant during that time. It was originally supposed to go, "Rough 'em up! Bust 'em up! Go SU! You won't deny the orange and blue!" However, the preferred chant, and the one that has resulted in a ban of the song, is "F**k 'em up! F**k 'em up! Go SU! We're gonna kick the sh*t outta you!"

I guess I understand why they have a problem with that, but I really think there's going to be some sort of student response. My roommate, who always sits in the orange-shirted student section, was furious when he saw the headline, and I'm sure a lot of other people feel the same way. Personally, I don't care whether they change it, although it is fun to watch all the team spirit in between the vulgar parts. I just think the students are going to react to this in a very negative way. You have to have seen this to fully appreciate the tradition, of course, but you can still probably imagine what a difference it's going to make.

Okay, that's it for now. I'll come back to that editorial later and point out the idiotic parts. Also, I'll remind you again to read "The True Fan" down below if you haven't yet. I hate to plug my own work like this, but I really think it's one of my better posts. So, in the words of Principal Skinner, "Prove me wrong, children. Prove me wrong!"

Update on the Dictionary Thingy 

The Alliance Bartender left a comment suggesting that I change "Democratic Dictionary" to "Democrat Dictionary" so the subject matter is more obvious. That got me thinking, and as I was doing my Spanish homework (says a lot about my attention span, doesn't it?), I came up with something else. So, the Democratic Dictionary will probably be called "The Donktionary" in the future. I Googled that word, and nobody...NOBODY has used it online EVER according to them, so I'm going to be the first. I'll just copy it a few times to make sure I get to claim it.
DONKTIONARY
DONKTIONARY
DONKTIONARY
DONKTIONARY
DONKTIONARY

There. Now, I've got a Google monopoly on both "Donktionary" and "puppy pureeing hobo hunter." I should probably get back to work now.

The Alliance Rules 

I think I may actually participate in the Precision Guided Humor assignment this week. Why? Because the theme is How should anti-war protesters be punished under American Sharia Law?

You may have detected a bit of it if you saw my Ted Rall rants before I deleted them, but I'll come clean right now: I have a very sick mind, and I'm able to come up with very disturbing things when I want to. Fortunately, I can turn that particular feature of my subconscious on and off at will (hence the routine self-censorship on SIT), but I think I'm going to have some fun with this one.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(I'll probably delete this, too)

Read "The True Fan" in the post below if you didn't see it yet.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

The True Fan 

All right, I'm a little late, but as promised, here is a satirical sketch about patriotism. The scenario: Bob and Joe are sitting on a couch watching football, and they start talking about the game between plays. Their conversation is as follows (WARNING: CONTAINS (censored) PROFANITY AND SUFFERS IN THE REALITY DEPARTMENT BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THE NAMES OF ANY FOOTBALL PLAYERS):

-BOB: So, pretty good game, isn't it?

-JOE: I guess. You're a Patriots fan, right?

-BOB: Definitely. I love the Patriots. Greatest football team in the world. I support them 100%. If anyone...WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT? I HATE YOU!

-JOE: Didn't you just say you love the Patriots?

-BOB: Sure did. Greatest team in the-WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? YOU SUCK!

-JOE: Uh, Bob, I'm not sure how big a fan you actually are. You don't seem to be supporting them very much.

-BOB: Are you saying I'm not a Patriots fan? I told you, I love the Patriots! They're the...WHOA! WHAT WAS THAT? GET OFF THE FIELD! GET OFF THE F***IN' FIELD!

-JOE: Okay...so, who's your favorite player?

-BOB: I don't really like any of them. They're all in it for the money. None of them actually care about football. Greedy pigs.

-JOE: But they're still your favorite team?

-BOB: Of course they are! The Patriots are the greatest team in the world! How many times do I have to tell you that?

-JOE: Well, you seem to dislike them a bit.

-BOB: What's wrong with that? I can still be a Patriots fan and hate the Patriots!

-JOE: Well...what about the coach? Do you like him?

-BOB: Don't even get me started on that f***in' idiot. He wouldn't know football if it came up behind him and kicked him in his ugly monkey head. That guy's a moron.

-JOE: You did say you LOVE the Patriots, right?

-BOB: Stop questioning me! Of course I do! They're a great team. If you keep...OH, COME ON! YOU F***IN' SUCK, YOU A**HOLES! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

-JOE: If you're such a big fan, why do you keep yelling at them?

-BOB: Do you have a problem with my dissent? It's healthy to question your team. A lot of Patriots fans just blindly cheer whenever something good happens. They don't even think about how the other team feels. They're so afraid to be different. When I support my team, I look at all the issues.

-JOE: Yeah, but you just seem to be spouting obscenities at them. That goes beyond questioning, doesn't it?

-BOB: Are you saying that I can't disagree with the Patriots and still be a true fan? I just want what's best for them.

-JOE: That doesn't make much sense, but I guess I understand why you would-

-BOB: HA! HE BROKE HIS LEG! SERVES YOU RIGHT, POSER! I HOPE YOU ALL DIE!

-JOE: Uh, Bob, that was New England's quarterback. Why are you happy about that?

-BOB: The idiot deserved it. He needed to be taught a lesson. When the quarterback gets hurt, the coach will see that he's using the wrong plays. In fact, I think they'll have a much better season if they lose this game.

-JOE: You're rooting AGAINST your favorite team?

-BOB: No, it's not like that at all. I just think they deserve to lose.

-JOE: But you still love them, right?

-BOB: YES! The Patriots are the greatest team in the world. I'm with them all the way.

-JOE: But you just said you wanted them to lose! It sounds like you hate them!

-BOB: HOW DARE YOU! HOW F***IN' DARE YOU! I LOVE THE PATRIOTS! WHY ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY TEAM SPIRIT?

-JOE: Because it seems like you're totally against them.

-BOB: You're just...HA! NOW YOU'RE LOSING BY 28 POINTS, A**HATS! SERVES YOU RIGHT! THESE PLAYS ARE TERRIBLE! YOU NEED TO FORFEIT THE GAME, FIRE THE COACH, AND SEND ALL THE PLAYERS HOME! THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO USE CRAPPY PLAYS!

-JOE: I don't understand how you can say that about a team you supposedly love.

-BOB: Are you retarded? Can you not hear me? I LOVE THE PATRIOTS! THEY'RE THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD! I'M BEHIND THEM ALL THE WAY!

-JOE: Wait, what are you doing now?

-BOB: I'm setting fire to my Patriots jersey. It's a disgusting symbol of greed and failure, and I'm ashamed to wear it.

-JOE: FIRE? How can you do that if you love the Patriots?

-BOB: This team doesn't represent anything I stand for, so I'm burning their jersey. What's so hard to understand?

-JOE: Why don't you just follow a different team?

-BOB: BECAUSE THE PATRIOTS ARE THE BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT!

-JOE: I really think you need to lay off the alcohol, Bob. I'm worried about you.

-BOB: WHAT? STOP TRYING TO OPPRESS ME! I THINK YOU HATE THE PATRIOTS!

-JOE: I think you hate the Patriots. In fact, you hate them so much that you just set fire to your living room burning their jersey. I'll go call the fire department.

-BOB: FORFEIT! FORFEIT! FORFEIT! FORFEIT!...(etc.)

END

Okay, that was fun. I probably could've made this funnier, but I'll leave blog humor to Frnak J. (yes, Frnak is an acceptable spelling). I'm pretty sure you can figure out what I was lampooning in that little sketch there. I really want to know what these anti-America types would consider to be unpatriotic, because it seems like the word means nothing to them. If you have comments about this, I encourage you to include them. I'm going to be writing scripts in my TRF class next semester, and I want to get a head start with stuff like this. Criticism is welcome (although compliments are much better...or maybe a link or two...hint hint hint...wink wink nudge nudge say no more...). That is all.

New Daily Orange Hilarity! 

Guess what! The DO contains articles on diversity and gay rights today! WOW! What a shock! They've never covered those issues before!

Okay, that was patronizing. Sorry about that. The DO begins today with the top headline, "Bill would promote increased diversity," and subheading, "Proposed legislation offers increased aid to schools that meet quotas." Allow me to express my feelings phonetically:

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH WUGALALALALHA LWBLWBLWWGHH GLHALASJFLARRGHA HAFJAFAHAHRAGGA!!!!!!!!!!

That's the sound I would be making if you were talking to me in person right now. QUOTAS ARE RACIST! WHY CAN'T THEY UNDERSTAND THAT? Want some quotes from the story? Good. Check these out:

"If Congress approves a new bill, Syracuse University officials could have an incentive to further diversify the undergraduate student population over the next few years."
That's always a good sign.

"The bill...states that any college or university with an Asian-American and Pacific Island undergraduate enrollment of 10 percent or greater will be eligible for an increase in general funding."
There's a word for this kind of thing: Ri-friggin'-diculous.

"In addition to the specified enrollment quota, the university must also have a large number of students who qualify for need-based financial aid."
Okay, I see two implications here. First of all, they're trying to receive more money by recruiting students who need more money. Does that seem a bit counterproductive to anyone else? Also, they seem to be suggesting that a more diverse student population would automatically contain more students who qualify for more financial aid. I'm glad they take their stereotypical worldview seriously.

"Of course [the bill] is an incentive for the university to build upon the Asian-American population and Asian-American studies..."
Of course.

"It will help us build upon academic instructions where Asians are underrepresented."
Have they actually analyzed the school to see if Asians are underrepresented, or are they just assuming it? Furthermore, why do they care in the first place? IT MUST BE THE PERVASIVE RACISM ON CAMPUS THAT LED TO THE HORRIBLE PACIFIC ISLANDER BLACKFACE INCIDENT! OH NO!

"If the bill is approved, government officials would divide up nearly $30 million among qualified universities for the 2004-2005 fiscal year."
Urge to kill rising...rising...rising...

"[A congressman they interviewed]...believes that education is the gateway to success in the United States..."
Brilliant deduction, Holmes.

"Of the population of Asian-Americans...many have low English skills, and this bill would give them a bit of extra money to boost their success."
Right. Because we can't go to the trouble of TEACHING THEM TO SPEAK ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!

"Syracuse University is very passionate about advancing opportunities for all of its student body."
Of course, by "all of its student body," they mean all minority students. At least that's what it seems like.

Okay. That's the diversity article. There's also yet another editorial that supports "gay rights" while not so subtly insulting Christians and conservatives. I won't go through the whole thing because it's basic cookie-cutter liberal relativism that doesn't need to be dissected again, but I'll include a few of the best quotes for your enjoyment. First, the title:

Gay marriage ruling should set example
Nobody saw that coming.

"At its core, gay marriage is a matter of personal freedom. The logic is simple: To deny citizens rights based on their sexual orientation is unconstitutional."
That's simple logic for simple minds. When you think about it, it's not based on sexual orientation at all. If two heterosexual males wanted to marry for some reason (maybe they made a bet...who knows?), they would also be denied under the ban. The law applies equally to everyone!

"The court did not fall prey to the religious, moral and ethical arguments on both sides of the marriage debate."
I didn't realize morals and ethics were no longer applicable to public policy. I guess we just outlaw some things arbitrarily.

"The Massachusetts decision is laudable because it recognized...that marriage is simply defined as the union of two spouses to the exclusion of all others."
Marriage wasn't defined that way until now, arsehelmet! It was always taken for granted that marriage was between a man and a woman until the gender police showed up.

"The right's attempt to use gay marriage as a divisive national issue will ultimately prove futile and is mistake in the long run."
It wouldn't be a divisive national issue if people like you would stop whining about it. By the way, the editorial really does say "is mistake in the long run." Good proofreading, guys.

"Marriage, as an institution, is wrought with connotations of religion, society and morality."
Didn't you say that those things weren't important? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

"The Massachusetts court chose to reduce marriage to its most basic: a right for all to be accorded equal privileges under the law."
All right, I'm going to say this one time, and one time only: GAYS HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARRY, BUT THEY CHOOSE NOT TO EXERCISE IT BECAUSE THEY WANT SPECIAL PRIVILEGES! Everyone has an equal right under the law to marry one person of the opposite sex who has no blood relation to them. Let's leave it at that and move on.

One final note: You may have noticed that my writing style has become a bit...angrier lately (although I did delete the other "F' Ted Rall" post). I decided the blog needed a bit more attitude, so I'm going to try and keep that up (even without actual profanity).

Reading Assignment for Today 

Don't ask me why I used that title. Anyway, the Daily Orange has a couple of great articles for me to make fun of today, but I have other business to attend to, so I'm giving you something else to read. Follow the link below to read a great opinion peace on Bush hatred. I'll be back in about half an hour.
Why They Hate W

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Free Preview! 

Okay, I'm still bored, so here is a sample of the Republican side of the DD entry that I'm using on Political Translation. I will NOT be posting this on SIT again; only Democratic ones will be included. You'll have to wait until the other blog is made public to see the Republican ones. Here's a sample:

-Appeasement: Wussing out/acting like France.
-Bigotry: Racism.
-Censorship: Speech codes.
-Death penalty: Punishment that fits the crime.
-Fundamentalist: Islamic terrorist.
-George W. Bush: The current U.S. president.
-Halliburton: Company Dick Cheney used to work with.
-Is: To be.
-Jingoism: Outdated word that hippies use to sound intelligent.
-Karl Marx: The man who is at least partially responsible for millions of murders in the last century.
-Lie: Anything Al Franken says.
-Mainstream: Liberalism.
-Noam Chomsky: See blowhard.
-Oil: Fuel that powers our nation.
-Patriot: One who loves one's country and is not afraid to show it.
-Quagmire: That horny dude on "Family Guy."
-Republican: Political party that generally supports limited government involvement, lower taxes, and traditional values. See also conservative.
-Suicide bomber: Despicable, cowardly murderer.
-Taxation: A necessary evil that should not be taken too far.
-United Nations: A bunch of liberals who like to waste time and appease dictators.
-Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: We're not allowed to tell you about the VRWC. Sorry.
-Weapons of mass destruction: Weapons with nuclear/chemical/biological capabilities, such as those used against Kurdish villages by Saddam Hussein.
-Zionist: Supporter of Israel.

Remember to send your entries for Democratic definitions, including alternate ones for words I've used so far (I'll still be really surprised if anyone actually does this)!

Another Blog on the Way? 

I don't have a lot of work to do (if you can believe that), and I was getting bored, but I couldn't think of anything to write about for SIT, so I started another blog. I'm not joking. The "Democratic Dictionary" thing I'm doing gave me an idea. I'm working on a new blog called "Political Translation." It'll be similar to the DD, but it will have definitions on both sides of the political spectrum so the two can be compared.

Now, I put a question mark in the title because I don't know if I'll ever go public with PT. It depends on how many entries I get for the Democratic Dictionary, which I expect to be a continuous project. I encourage readers once again (yes, I'm still talking to all 4 of you) to send me whatever entries they can come up with and help me out. I'm trying to get a hook for SIT, and this could be it. I'm over 1000 hits now, and I want some more friggin' traffic. We'll have to wait and see how this new project goes, I guess.

1000 HITS! 

There. Was that so hard?

What Happened? 

Is this some kind of sick joke? The hit counter got to 999, and then the traffic stopped. I haven't had anyone here in the last 4 hours! Just give me one more friggin' hit, people! This is important!

The Democratic Dictionary- Part 1 

That was fast. Anyway, here is the first set of entries from the Democratic Dictionary. I didn't get all the letters, but that's why this is only part 1. I'll be doing these periodically, so I should be able to come up with at least one for every letter. Remember, if you want to contribute your own, put them in the comments or email them to me. I WILL include them if they're good (and probably even if they're not; I don't want to be a hypocrite). Maybe this will help me gain some recognition within the blogosphere. And now, here are the DD definitions:

-Appeasement: The solution to all foreign problems.
-Bigotry: Disagreeing with liberal ideas.
-Censorship: Criticizing liberal ideas.
-Death penalty: Genocidal conspiracy against African-Americans.
-Fundamentalist: Christian who believes in God and reads the Bible.
-George W. Bush: The Antichrist.
-Halliburton: Dick Cheney's evil empire.
-Is: Definition varies from person to person
-Jingoism: Flying the American flag during a war.
-Karl Marx: The second most brilliant thinker in recent history (even if he was a bit of a centrist).
-Lie: Anything a Republican says.
-Mainstream: Liberalism.
-Noam Chomsky: The most brilliant thinker in recent history.
-Oil: The root of all evil and the cause of all Republican military action
-Patriot: One who blindly supports the neo-fascist government out of fear.
-Quagmire: The result of deposing a murderous dictator and freeing millions of oppressed people.
-Republican: Racist, sexist, fascist, homophobic, warmongering, anti-choice, fundamentalist bigot.
-Suicide bomber: Heroic freedom fighter (see martyr).
-Taxation: The solution to all domestic problems.
-United Nations: Organization created to keep U.S. power in check.
-Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: The cause of every problem taxes and appeasement can't solve.
-Weapons of mass destruction: Red herring invented by Republicans to distract people from their imperialism.
-Zionist: Jew.

That should give you a good idea of what I'm looking for. I really do encourage readers to contribute to this (that's right, all 4 of you). I want to get as many entries as possible so I can eventually combine them all.

Oh, and one more thing: I'm almost up to 1000 hits. Ceee-le-brate good times COME ON! Also, I have a guestbook that nobody's signed yet, so feel free to check that out.

Random Updates 

There's a lot I could blog about right now, but I'm too tired to actually write anything at the moment. However, James Finch of VRWC, Inc. has provided some great reading material with his newest essay, The Darkest of Hearts. It's all about evil and why totally destroying our enemies is sometimes the best option. Be sure to read it as soon as possible.

There's an entertaining article on Democratic Underground that would be fun to fisk, but it's too long for that and I don't feel like doing another multi-fisking for a while, so I will instead link to it and let you dissect it yourself. Read about Shrubya's war for OOOIIIIIIIL here.

Now, back to SIT. I'm working on a series of posts right now called "The Democratic Dictionary." It's basically my idea of what liberals think of when they see certain words. I'll be doing several entries, each one in alphabetical order with words for as many letters as I can think of. I'm trying to get every letter for the first post, but that may not be easy. Here's a free sample:

Oil: The root of all evil and the cause of all Republican military action.

Feel free to leave any suggestions in the comments for this or the actual DD post. You can also email suggestions to me if you want. I'm serious about this. If I get enough, maybe I'll make an actual book out of it (or not). Help me out here, people!

I'm gonna get back to work on DD entry #1 right now.

Brief Thoughts 

To start off the day, here is my newest college life lesson:
PRO: If the professor is sick, class is cancelled.
CON: If the professor of your 8:30 AM class is sick, you got up at 7:45 for nothing.
I really wish I hadn't learned that lesson from experience today.

Also, I deleted the second post in my "F Ted Rall" series, but I'm keeping the original because it's the only way to express my disdain for that pitiful scumbag. I think it's incredibly ironic that people like Traitor Rall use their freedom to attack the country that grants it. It makes me sick. Also, I'm still taking donations for the Foundation to have Michael Moore and Ted Rall Eviscerated and/or Incinerated, if anyone's interested. Read the previous post for details. Maybe we can get Frank J. on board. In his latest post, he says that if he becomes rich and famous, he can make Ted Rall disappear. That sounds fine to me.

If you're still reading now, congratulations! You actually get to see the new stuff for today. On my way back to class, I was thinking about liberal double standards (I think about those a lot), and I realized something about their ideas of "censorship." Remember when that soldier went on TV and criticized Donald Rumsfeld? Remember how mad some people got when he was disciplined? The accusations of censorship and oppression? It wasn't a huge thing, but a lot of people were angry that he was reprimanded for it.

Now, think about General Boykin, the guy who implied, in a church, that he was fighting a holy war. Remember how the same people said that he should resign and make a public apology? WHY THE CRAP IS THERE A DIFFERENCE? I don't have that much to say, because I think you get the point. Soldier in uniform criticizes Rumsfeld=makes Bush administration look bad=good for the left=accuse anyone who disagrees of censorship. Soldier in uniform criticizes the enemy and makes religious references=makes the administration look good and acknowledges God=bad for the left=accuse him of bigotry. Liberals are funny.

Monday, November 17, 2003

The Media Isn't Biased, Right? 

Wrong. Go here and check out the comments from James Benjamin to see what kind of reality most liberals are living in. I figure sending other people to look at his asinine comments is more fun than offering him another free cookie (you'll have to read it to understand that one). Feel free to add something to the discussion. I'm through dealing with him.

Alliance Voters 

Well, the League of Anarchists Communists Lunatics Liberals won sponsorship of the showcase and won the overall vote with 61. I don't understand how hard it is to take 10 minutes out of your day and vote for a friggin' blog. Seriously. When I entered the showcase, I was getting almost 100 hits a day (this was less than 2 weeks ago, so I remember it pretty well). Show some respect for new bloggers and help them get noticed! You could be overlooking the next Frank J. or Puppy Blender! VOTE, DAGNABIT! Anyway, here is the list of people who DID bother to vote this week. Check 'em out:

IMAO (569 links) - 2940 visits/day V
Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love (176 links) - 1034 visits/day V
Flying Chair (44 links) - 631 visits/day V
annika's journal & poetry (83 links) - 260 visits/day V
Patriot Paradox (44 links) - 233 visits/day V
Ramblings of Silver Blue (124 links) - 211 visits/day V
The Inscrutable American (60 links) - 200 visits/day V
Bad Money (166 links) - 155 visits/day V
The Alliance (173 links) - 145 visits/day V
Simon World (30 links) - 100 visits/day V
angelweave (97 links) - 97 visits/day V
Leaning Towards the Dark Side (27 links) - 96 visits/day V
Practical Penumbra (180 links) - 91 visits/day V
See The Donkey (21 links) - 89 visits/day V
Pardon My English (55 links) - 87 visits/day V
Being American in T.O. (45 links) - 67 visits/day V
CandyUniverse (47 links) - 66 visits/day V
The Everlasting Phelps (30 links) - 57 visits/day V
The S-Train Canvass (29 links) - 52 visits/day V
TacJammer (47 links) - 40 visits/day V
An Englishman's Castle (6 links) - 40 visits/day V
The Patriette (41 links) - 37 visits/day V
Civilization Calls (30 links) - 36 visits/day V
curi's domain (17 links) - 35 visits/day V
Semi-Intelligent Thoughts (48 links) - 32 visits/day V
BigRedGiant.com (19 links) - 28 visits/day V
Wince and Nod (44 links) - 28 visits/day V
Irreconcilable Musings (25 links) - 23 visits/day V
The Psychotic Rant (29 links) - 17 visits/day V
Single White Male (9 links) - 16 visits/day V
Cannon's Canon (20 links) - 13 visits/day V
Peripheral Mind (32 links) - 13 visits/day V
Shameless Self-Promotion (14 links) - 10 visits/day V
Hoppings of Roxette Bunny (25 links) - 10 visits/day V
Johnalism.com (10 links) - 9 visits/day V
Interested-Participant (63 links) - visits/day V

There, see how it works? When you vote in the showcase, tiny insignificant blogs with 4 regular readers link to you. Don't you want that kind of attention?
(Big thanks to Harvey at Bad Money for the code)

Another Essay Excerpt 

Okay, I haven't blogged much today. That's obvious. However, since I do have a certain duty here, I thought I'd post an excerpt from the essay I wrote this afternoon. This is what I'm usually doing when I'm not posting on SIT. Anyway, the paper is about ways to ensure that senior citizens are able to drive safely. This excerpt covers the final 2 pages (of 6 total pages), and follows a detailed list of dangers related to old people with cars. Check it out:

Senior Citizens and Safe Roads
...Now that the reasoning behind my proposal has been explained, as well as the various problems it could solve, I will explain the proposal itself. I believe that the problems associated with older drivers could best be solved by implementing a system to make sure these drivers are still competent and physically able to drive safely. Because most problems start after age 55, drivers who reach this age would be required to apply for license renewal at preset intervals. I suggest three years, but this could be adjusted based on individuals or medical recommendations.

At the end of each interval, the potential driver would have to see a physician and receive a medical evaluation. This would decrease the risk of missing certain health problems that can contribute to accidents in elderly drivers. The physician would fill out a checklist of various problems commonly associated with aging, with a different amount of points assigned to each problem. The law would include a specific number of points that could not be exceeded. This number would be based on calculations of risk factors and driver ability. In this scenario, once a certain number is reached, the patient can no longer receive a license without undergoing treatment or therapy for the most severe problems.

Identifying the medical problems to include in the checklist could be a difficult task, but several sources provide a list of things to look for in older drivers that could make the process simpler. The American Medical Association, for example, provides a "Physician's Guide to Assessing and Counseling Older Drivers." This guide illustrates a very detailed process, and I believe it would fit very well into my proposal. The guide consists of several steps, and each one is designed to identify problems and provide treatment. Some of the steps in the guide include: "Is the Patient at Increased Risk for Unsafe Driving," "Formally Assess Function," "Counseling the Patient Who is No Longer Safe to Drive," "Legal and Ethical Responsibilities of the Physician," and "Medical Conditions and Medications That May Impair Driving" (Physician's...) These steps should be included in the initial medical examination phase to make sure that elderly drivers can function safely on the road.

The next step of my proposal involves actually testing the driving abilities of the license applicant. This process would be similar to the one currently employed in granting licenses to first-time applicants. First, the driver would be administered a written test to assess knowledge of road signs, signals, common techniques, emergency measures, and basic laws. Next, they would take an actual driving test consisting of turning, parking, driving in various traffic situations, and overall technique. Again, this would resemble the test given to people applying for their first license. Drivers would have to successfully complete all these steps before being issued a license. In the case of failure, they would be directed to medical professionals or driving instructors, depending on which part of the process they could not pass. Other forms of transportation would be provided for those who could not drive but still needed to travel frequently.

This is another area, of course, but specific programs could be included in the law. According to Helen Kerschner, five important factors in senior transportation are availability, accessibility, acceptability, affordability, and adaptability. Transportation would be provided to meet these needs. This program is meant to ensure that those who can drive are able to, and those who cannot drive can still be mobile...


This wasn't just an arbitrary proposal, to be perfectly honest. I've been thinking about this problem for a few years now, and I really think this plan would make roads safer. I support the rights of old people to drive, but sometimes they just lose that ability and should have their licenses revoked before they confuse the gas and brake pedals and injure 40 people. The entire 6 pages of this essay took about 2 hours to write. Don't ask me how I pulled it off. I have to go to band practice soon, so...later.

Victory is Mine! 

I did it! I actually managed to get all the classes I wanted! Here's how it breaks down (as if any of you care):

Monday: Spanish, Astronomy, and Math
Tuesday: Spanish, Psychology, and Astronomy
Wednesday: Spanish, Psychology, and Math
Thursday: Spanish, Math, Astronomy, and TRF (TV-Radio-Film)
Friday: Math at 3 PM

So, looks like I won't be blogging much on Thursdays next semester (class starts at 8:30 and, other than lunch, doesn't end until 5:30), and I have to get up at 7:30 AM four days a week, but these seem like decent classes. Thursdays are not going to be fun. I can tell right now.

Just as a note, I checked a draft of this post, and I accidentally typed "Maath" for one of them. That must be Saddam Hussein's version of math.

Forced Writing 

Just for the heck of it, here's a sample of the pathetic sociology paper I just spent the last few hours forcing myself to write:

Economic changes and their resulting effects on employment and income can also affect society itself. Jobs have become less plentiful in many inner city areas, partially because more education is necessary to move out of these locations and find quality employment. As a result, the living conditions have deteriorated. Many people end up leaving these areas, which can lower property values and actually contribute to a lack of housing for those who cannot afford anything better. Once people have left residential areas, those areas can also become more dangerous. Criminals tend to seek abandoned buildings and locations where they will not be found, and the proximity of these illegal activities to people who are still living in the area can in turn lead to more crime as the groups interact. In addition to contributing to crime, loss of jobs in a particular area can actually make it harder for residents who do want jobs to find them, since well paying jobs are usually not located in areas affected by heavy poverty or decreasing in population. This can have psychological effects as well, since residents of these areas will feel less motivated to earn a living if they cannot see any positive developments in their immediate surroundings.

I have no idea how valid this is. I just based it on an online article the professor assigned. The rest of the essay is even worse. I'm really not sure why I decided to post this, but it's here now. As you can probably tell, I enjoy blogging a lot more than academic writing. I think I should probably go to sleep now. I have to do some scheduling tomorrow morning. By the way, don't expect any posts tomorrow until late afternoon or early evening. I've got a rough draft to write for, conveniently enough, my writing class, about ways to keep old people from driving. It'll probably be a little better, since I'm actually interested in that subject, so I may post some of that as well. We'll see.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

More Useless Information 

It's virtually impossible to write a good sociology paper when the guys across the hall are watching football with the door open.

"YEAH! (clap clap clap clap) HA HA HA HA HA HA-NOOOOOOOOOO! FUMBLE! FUMBLE! GET THAT! AWWWWW F**K! F***IN' SH*T! NOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Why can't they at least close the door?

They Should Warn You About These Things 

When I scheduled a sociology class, I expected to study social interaction, but for some reason, I'm stuck writing a 5 page essay on economics. If I wanted to study economics, I would've taken economics. I FRICKIN' HATE ECONOMICS!!!!!!!!!

Don't Ask How I Found This 

It's amazing how much pointless crap you can find when you have work to do. I stumbled across a website that translates anything you write into 12 year old AOL speak, and I decided to run my antisocial complaint post from last night through it. Check it out:

SIMPL3 TITLE COMPLICAETD EXPLANATION111!!1! OMG WTF IMM AXTR3MELY ANGRY RIGHT NOW AND I NED 2 VANT1!11!! WTF THEYRE WAS (AND PROBABLY STIL IS) A DRUMLIEN PARTY 2NIGHT AND I WANTED 2 GO BUT I DIDNT KNOW WH3R3 TEH PLAEC WAS111!! OMG LOL 2 SOLV3 TAHT PROBLEM I EMALEAD SOMEON3 AND SHA SADE SHA WUD GET ME A RIED!!1! WTF TAHTS AL SHE SADE SO I EMALEED H3R BAK ABOUT 7 HOURS AGO AND ASKED WH3N SADE RIED WUD B H3RE!111!! WTF THEN I WATE3D.AND11!!!1!1!1!1!1 OMG LOL WATE3D.AND!1!111!1!11!!1!1111 OMG WTF WATE3D.AND!1!11!111!111111! OMG WTF WATEED.AND!11!111!1111!11!1!11! OMG LOL I GOT NO R3SPONSA!11! OMG WTF I DIDNT WANT 2 JUST GIEV UP THOUGH SO I LOK3D AT TEH ORIGINAL EMALE INFORMNG US OF TEH PARTY AND IT SADE 2 B THEIR AROUND 945 OR 10 SO I FIGURED TAHT IF I S2D IN FRONT OF MAH DORM AROUND 945 THEY WUD SE M3 WHAN TH3Y GOT H3R3!1!11 WTF I JUST S2D OUT THEYRE IN DA FREZNG COLD ARE FOR HALF AN HOUR AND NOBODY SHOWAD UP1!1!11 WTF LOL IT WAS A COMPL3TE WASTE OF TIEM!1!1!111 LOL I CANT EVEN TYPE AT FUL SPED RIGHT NOW B/C MAH HANDS R STIL COLD111! OMG AND NOW 2 MAEK MATERS WORS3 MAH ROMAET AND SOME FREINDS R GONG 2 A DIF3RENT PARTY AND ASKED ME IF I WANT3D 2 COM3 BUT THERE WOKNG SO I SADE NO1!!!!!!1 WTF LOL I HAEV NO INTANTION OF GONG BAK OUTSIED 2NIGHT!!1!11 OMG WTF LOL ITS SYRACUS3 NU YORK ITS NOVEMBR ITS BEN SNOWNG FOR TEH PAST COUPLA DAYS AND ITS ABOUT 25 D3GRES OUTSIED RIGHT NOW111!1 OMG I DONT WANT 2 B OUT THEYRE ANYMORA!!1!1 OMG LOL NOW THEIR GON3 AND IMM UP IN MAH ROM AL ALONE FOR ABOUT DA 10TH SATURDAY NIGHT IN A ROW!!1111! OMG WTF M I DESTIEND 2 HAEV NO SOCIAL LIEF OR DO I JUST NOT PLAN THESA THNGS WEL??!??!!?? WTF LOL I THOUGHT MAYB WHOAVER WAS GIVNG ME A RIED SHOWED UP AT 930 AND L3FT WHEN I DIDNT COME OUT BUT IT SEMS LIEK TH3Y WUDVE WATEAD A BIT LONG3R THAN TAHT1!!! OMG WTF LOL I DONT UNDARSTAND THIS AT AL!!!!! LOL HOW HARD IS IT 2 CHAK UR AMALE 2 SE IF SOMEON3 NEDS A RIED?!??!!??! OMG LOL IF U TEL ME TAHT IL ALREADY HAEV A RIED COMNG THEN U DONT BOTHER 2 TEL MA WHEN I ASUME TAHT U ADJUST 2 MAH SCHEDUL3 B/C I HAEV NO IEDA WH3N 2 SHOW UP!111!11! OMG I RILLY DONT THINK IL B ABL3 2 TRUST TH3SE P3OPLE FROM NOW ON11!!1 OMG THIS IS CRAP11!11 OMG LOL AL RIGHT I HAEV 2 CONTINU3 MAH ANTISOCIAL EXISTANCE ELSEWH3RA ON TEH WEB NOW11!!!1! OMG SORY IF I D3PR3S3D U11111! WTF

Makes it seem even more pathetic, doesn't it?

I'm Okay... 

All right, I may have gone a little overboard last night due to my complete lack of a social life (a couple of you know what I'm referring to; the rest didn't get here in time), but I'm okay now. Things like the incident I described in the last post tend to irritate me more than they should. Anyway, I think I've posted more than enough for one weekend, and I have two essays due tomorrow, so I have to get to work. Be sure to read all 5 parts of the Fisk-a-thon if you haven't already. It turned into more of a satire than an actual argument, but at least it's some kind of response. I may post again if I have time, but I need to get busy pretty soon.

One more thing before I go: Myself and a few other bloggers are working on a new link blog called GuerillaMonkey. Our goal is to give overlooked and underappreciated blogs the chance to be seen. We're still looking for more bloggers (particularly liberal ones, if you can believe that) to join the Council of Damn Dirty Apes, but you can just go there and check out the links if you want. Please do us a favor and go take a look. That is all.

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God Bless America